In a romantic relationship, for instance, marriage, why is commitment considered a virtue? Or, why do we give it such priority? I cannot truly understand. For me, commitment always feels artificial. It's not something that is naturally in us; it's entirely man-made. The structure of human family units changes as we evolve. One female used to be able to have different male partners, and one male used to be able to have different female partners, just like today the social norm is monogamy. I feel the praise of commitment is just another subtle manifestation of human's possessive nature and fear of loneliness, which are merely our biological, and neutral, instincts that proved to be useful for populating. However, after centuries of sugar coating commitment with romantic arts and virtuous stories, it is becoming rather difficult to see commitment is not as sacred as we wanted it to be.
And in the mean time, we forget what is most important: Love. We think commitment and love are interchangeable. I do not think so. Love is more profound and much harder than commitment -- because love do not escape or possess. Love does not try to hold on to anything. Love is a flower that perfumes no matter someone chooses to smell it or not. When we are talking, can I see clearly when do I start building a self-defense wall against you? Can I see clearly when do I start trying to exploit you, however subtle it is? And can I see these without trying to judge myself, without bringing all the moral propaganda into play? I think deep insight into a relationship is more important than commitment in a relationship.
